The Worst Wounds



    Do you know what it's like to feel absolutely nothing? You're not sad, not happy, and not even angry. You're just empty. Life feels like a dream.You feel like you life is a hamster wheel. You're always, always running but never getting anywhere. The worst of it is you can't feel God. You know that He is there. You know that He has not left you and will not leave you, but you can't feel Him. You want to trust, but you're not sure of anything anymore.

    I've been down that road more than once. Sometimes I take daily trips. Depression is a very real struggle, and it's not understood very well. At least, my family has never understood it. They think when I'm smiling I must be happy. But that is not the case. The more I smile the more I am trying to mask how I really feel. I don' want to burden anyone else with these problems. They are mine and mine alone. I feel like I am the one that needs to deal with them.

    I am happiest when I can just be at peace. No noise, no talking, no fake smiling, just me and God. His peace washes over me and makes me new time after time.(It is a daily battle!)What I'm feeling does not automatically go away but I can deal deal with it better after I've talked to Jesus. He helps me to remember that there is light during the storm. And that He is that light. He, better than anyone else ever could, understands what I feel. He was a man of many sorrows.(Isaiah 53:3) That portion of that verse always helps me to remember that I am not alone. Jesus felt what I am feeling now.
    
    Depression is very real, but so is Jesus. He doesn't think that there is something wrong with you or that you need fixed. You just need help. But we all need help on a daily basis. We cannot make it through life on our own. Jesus wants to be your help. He wants to walk through the darkest times with you. He wants to be with you when it's hardest to believe. He wants to give you hope during the darkest of nights and the worst of storms. He wants to show you that this is not the end of your story. No matter what happens on this earth, Heaven is waiting for you. There will be no sorrows or woes there.
   
    But that does not mean we should try to get to Heaven before our appointed time. There are other people out there who are feeling what you are feeling. But they don't know the Light of the World, and they need someone to guide them to Him. You could be the person that makes the difference in their eternity! There is a purpose for your pain, and it is as real as your pain. Don't waste the pain you've been through by burying it. Use it as a tool to reach others for Jesus. It is the most noble and heroic act that anyone could ever do. Give your pain to Jesus and watch Him make something beautiful out of it. You won't regret it!

     Until Next Time,

         Adelaide Hugh, an ordinary person with extraordinary dreams